CHILD MOLESTATION, ...what you might not know?

Child Molestation is also known as child sexual abuse. It is a secret crime involving a range of indecent sexual activities between an adult and a child.

According to the National Violence Against Children Survey, it established that 1 in 4 girls and 1 in 10 boys experience sexual violence before the age of 18 in one way or the other.

TYPES OF MOLESTATION
- Defilement
- Rape
- Fingering
- Making a child watch pornography
- Exposing the genital to kids
- Indecent touching
- Fondling, etc.

WHO COULD ABUSE YOUR CHILD?

Yes, it could be anyone! Studies show that over 95% of sexually abused children are abused by persons known or close to the child or the child's family.

ABUSERS ARE MOSTLY NOT STRANGERS

They are right there in your house, cotenants, family members, lesson teachers, neighbours. Their friends in school, hostel, classmates, class/school teachers, cousins, uncles, nephew, niece, fathers, step  fathers, grand fathers, Imams, choir masters, Pastors, confidants, security guard, maids, family/school drivers, after school teachers, teachers, mummy's friend, daddy's friend, caregivers, strangers, hum! as you can see the list can go on.
Please, do not ask if any of the above is possible because, there is no case of any of the above that has not happened.

CAUSES OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
Most of the worst case sinerio are traceable to poor parental care.
1.  Parental negligence,
2.  Parental carelessness,
3.  Parental nonchalant attitude, among others.
This is worrisome, as it is as bad as, 'No one can be trusted'. We have a child presently carrying a baby that belongs to her father.

OTHER CAUSES
4.  Absentee parents.
5.  Parents who do not observe.
6.  When the kids are not informed.....
7.  What you watch with or what your kids watch in movies.
8.  Practice of immoralities and or  indecent dressing among children.

WHERE CAN YOUR CHILD BE SEXUALLY ABUSED?
Common experiences and records show that often child abuse occur in common places such as:
- At home - right under your nose, under your roof.
- In the school environment - classroom, toilet, etc.
- Hostel
- Parties
- In their room (siblings)
- Deserted/Abandoned places
- When you are distracted, etc.

HOW DOES IT HAPPENED?

Perpetrator are people old or young with corrupt mind. They look for opportunities any time and at any where. Five minutes chances is enough to cause a life long damages.

HOW DO PAEDOPHILES GET THE VICTIMS?
1.  Grooming
2.  Baits - Emotional bait, Gift bait, Financial bait, Familiarity and Respect bait.

CHILD GROOMING:
Befriending and establishing an emotional connection with a child, and sometimes the family, to lower the child's inhibitions with the objective of sexual abuse. (Wikipedia.com)

BAITS:
Gaining the trust of a minor with the intention of having sex relationship with them.

HOW TO IDENTIFY A POSSIBLE ABUSER?
1.  Always trying to be around your child or vice versa
2.  Be vigilant if not for anything, but for your child's security. Usually, the child feels uncomfortable when he/she sights the abuser or when the abuser is around.
3.  Easily and conveniently accept to care for your child while you are away.
4.  Can be hard on the child especially, if the child is rejecting his/her moves.

If any of the above is observed, please, shine your eyes. Or sometimes, your child might feel uncomfortable /rejecting to go to the person when you send him or her Or even go for holiday.

Sexual abuse happens among siblings -  what to do?
Set rules, separate their rooms, separate their beds, educate then on why it is wrong to indulge in adult things.

Recently, a case of twins having sex with each other was related. When they were asked, they said: "we saw mum and dad doing same." Parents we shouldn't be as this careless? Because of their parents carelessness, the innocent twins minds were polluted and their lives were destroyed.

WHAT A PERPETRATOR SAYS TO A CHILD WILLING TO SPEAK OUT?
• I will kill you
• You will die
• Your mummy will hate you
• Your mummy will beat you
• Your mummy will blame you.
• Your mummy and your daddy will die.
• He could cut the child, lick the blood and say 'this is a blood covenant between us, the day you tell anyone that will be the day you'll die.

Take responsibilities - Teach your child the "SRR"
action.

S - Shout/scream
R - Run
R - Report

POSSIBLE SIGNS THAT YOUR CHILD HAS BEEN ABUSED
- Isolation
- Aggressiveness
- Anxiety/Fear
- Difficulty in walking
- Sudden drop in academic performance
- Poor social interaction, and so on.

OTHERS
- Sexually Transmitted Diseases.

ALWAYS TAKE CAUTION:
- Their dressing is important, dress to cover them.
- Teach them privacy.
- They must knock and seek permission before they enter your room.
- It is wrong to bath them together (siblings) irrespective of sex.
- Teach them to always cover their necked, before and after bath.
- Sensors and regulate their movies, even video on your phone.

PLEASE NOTE:
Children never lie about abuse. Do a followup, if your child is telling you someone about someone. Mostly if we ignored them, the soon believe what the abuser had told them and the sooner they conceive whatever the abuse is.

After listening investigate or seek the knowledge of a exact or report to the police. 

EFFECT OF CHILD SEXUAL ABUSE
- The abused child could become a serial abuser
- Depression
- Suicidal thoughts
- Stigma
- Guilt
- Lifelong psychological trauma
- Aggression
- Withdrawn
- Infected with STDs, etc.

THE MALE CHILD:
More often than not, we pay more attention to the girls than the boys.
With my years of experience, boys are mostly victims of anal sex, but because we do not pay attention. For them, healing is a terrible process.

WATCH OVER YOUR BOYS:
Something might just be happening and you perceive not. Do not be a hard mum. Strike a balance between love and discipline.

Give your children Sex Education proportional to their age. A child of age 2 or even less is due for Sex Education.
-  Tell them what no one must do with their body.
-  Tell them to speak out
-  In the house, everyone must respect one another's privacy.

Child molestation is real, it is more painful, if it happens under your very nose. Please bond more with our Jewels, we want to receive them back to school bigger and better than they left. Above all, pray for them always. The child molesters will not go near them but we must play our part.